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2-16-01

Well im depressed again,*BAH* shit always sneaks up on me. fuck i hate my life. Arg shits gone down the tubes even more, more and more problems everyday. and im forced to carry allthis shit on mah shoulders. fuck i hate the world. shit well i was listenin to three doors down last night, and it made me want to fuckin die,
"Be like that"

Be Like That
He spends his nights in California,
Watching the stars on the big screen
Then he lies awake and he wonders,
Why can't that be me
Cause in his life he is filled
With all these good intentions
He's left a lot of things
He'd rather not mention right now
But just before he says goodnight,
He looks up with a little smile at me,
And he says,
If I could be like that,
I would give anything
Just to live one day, in those shoes
If I could be like that,
I would give anything
Just to live one day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do,
What would I do
Now and dreams we run
She spends her days up in the north park,
Watching the people as they pass
And all she wants is just
A little piece of this dream,
Is that too much to ask
With a safe home, and a warm bed,
On a quiet little street
All she wants is just that something to
Hold onto, that's all she needs
Yeah!
If I could be like that,
I would give anything
Just to live one day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do,
What would I do
I'm falling into this, dreams
We run away
If I could be like that,
I would give anything
Just to live one day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do,
What would I do
If I could be like that,
I would give anything
Just to live one day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do,
What would I do
If I could be like that,
I would give anything
Just to live one day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do,
What would I do
Falling in
I feel I am falling in, to this again.
-Three doors down

I had my head cleard, i was coming outta depression, then i was knocked right the fuck back in. thanks gret, *BAH* fuck the world fuck it fuck it. when i rule the world, just wait fuckers, wont be able to fuck wtih my head anymore. *BAH* im in a horrible mood today, arg i need to get laid, git in a fight and git stoned, thatd be the way to go, i could really use that shit right now. *BAH* fuck fuck fuck fuck *punches the wall* fuck ill get over this shit sooner or later, i always seem to get through no matter what, so its ok, even if i end up more fucked up then i was. always the toy, always the used one, the one thats fucked with. whoa i dunt know where the hell that came from. yea i knows this is a long entry, but fuck ive got shit to git off mah chest*BAH* i think i think, no thats anthoer story for anthoer day, yer have to ask me if ya wanna know. *BAH* meg just showed me anthoer one of her poems, i feel lik im going to break down, and have yet antheor nervous breakdown. *BAH* my mind is a useless waste. why is it that everyone always throws there shit on me, like im some fuckin sherpa thingy, fuck i cant take this anymore, i want to die, no point in living, all happiness has been ripped away, and taken from me. arg well i thinks i bitched enough fer one day, so im gonna go ahead and gos