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2-17-01
Well i dont really have much to say here. I got in a huge fight with my exfiance amanda, that bitch has really fucked my head, im havin nightmares about her. *BAH* taYlOr said theyd go away, sooner or later. Hopefully, well ne ways, not much has been happeing latly. I shaved tonight, ive still got mah goatee but its much smaller, and im sideburn less. well im fixing to get off the desktop cuz mah parents wants to go to bed. so um laterdays
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2-22-02
Erg its friday, and as per usaul i have no plans at all. Erg i was walkin up to the video store and i realizesd that i have no life anymore. ERg i tried to git one of those diarys of opendiary.com but those bastards want money.*BAH* Everythings getting commercial, and everything has a price on it, everything, hell even here happiness has a price on it. Cuz here happiness is drinking, and drinking has a price on it. ARg, i need to get back to the states, i need to get back around my freinds. Hell i dunt even know why i even work on this damned site, noone reads it. but lik i have time to burn so, i guess i do this just for the burning of time.
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2-25-01 Well its monday, yet anthoer droll montonus day in the hell that is my life. "im afraid to be alone, afraid your leave me when im gone, im afraid to come back home, i cannot forget, i live with regret" *BAH* my heads fucked, my minds fucked. my head is pounding, i need a ciggratte, got to do my taxes this week. Fuck, i cannot wait till i can take a vaction, be by myself, away from all this technolgy,soltuide, pure solutide. Erg something interresting happend today, i was watching big daddy, and at the end where adam sandler has all those flashbacks, i got this urge, this strong calling, this fuckin urge, damn it made me want kids. Imagine me, with kids. I feel as if im getting old, real quick. Ive seen shit most ppl dont see, dealt with shit most ppl wont ever deal with, and yet through all of it im still here. Id rather not be, but im forcedto be. But fuck it, ive got to deal, fine then i got to deal. Ill deal.now ive just got one thing to figure out, just one thing,and yet it feels as if ive already knocked it outta the way and i know what i want. It dosent seem like she knows what she wants. Fuck man, my head is killing me. " this is my december, these are my snow covered trees, this is me pretending" *BAH* linkin park has snuck its way back into my head. My mind is a barren waste land. *BAH* i was going through my offline messages, and this one from gret poped up, it was lik nearly 4 months old, god all these old emtions came back up, flowing back, i havent been able to get her outta my head laltly, shes all i think about basicly. damn shes still got me wrapped around her finger. "nobody knows it, but youve got a secret smile, and you use it only for me" semisonic, secret smile, god that was me and Grets song. DAmn im still not over her. fuck, il get over her sooner or later. WElp i have to help meg with some stuff. so like later days
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